Micro Effect
by Dawn of Daybreak
Summary: Throughout both games, all of Shepard's actions, no matter how large or small, coalesce into one Mass-ive outcome. Micro Effect is a collection of short stories that focuses on different takes of the smaller choices. Cannon and non-cannon. Mostly random.
1. Hussy: Revised

**Micro Effect #1: Hussy**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 811 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: This is an update of this chapter, and it is courtesy of ResistanceRebellionRevolution, who pointed out that I had one too many 'p's in "Shepard". Sorry about that, I used auto-correct, and it corrected it all. Although if you could tell me where those other typos are, and maybe leave a review of the short itself, it would be nice. :D Thanks, and thanks to all of those who read this story, I will be coming out with a second one soon.**

**P.S. I had been up for like 21 hours when I wrote this, so it might not be as good as what I usually write, alright? Lol. It is still coherent from what I can tell, and spell check isn't throwing the red squiggly lines of hate at me…so I think I'm good.**

****Update** I realized that I still had some mistakes and I fixed those. Lol. It should be good now. :P**

****Update (Part Dos)** I realized that I STILL had some mistake…and I fixed those. Thanks to the reviewers who helped me out here. **

It wasn't easy to see a grown woman cry, let alone one who had lived nearly eight hundred years, but it got the job done, and that Asari was being bitchy enough for ten lifetimes; she got what was coming to her. With a couple of sniffles, the blue skinned woman let herself be hauled off of the floor by Shepard, and he quickly wiped away the tears with the heel of her palm. "Alright… I will review and revise the contracts. There is already enough suffering in this galaxy…I should not add to it."

The pure-blood Asari looked him in the eyes as she made some adjustments to her Omni-tool before stepping to the side. "Thank you, thank you for showing me the way. I don't want to become one of the people I despise."

Tali and Grunt looked at each other as they both watched the woman walk off in a somber saunter. The Krogan chuckled, "Interesting, Shepard. The tank taught me that making women cry had the opposite effect when it comes to achieving your objectives."

The Quarian shook her head, "I completely agree, but Shepard just has a way with women I suppose."

"Also, since when did your combat training involve fraternizing with females?" Tali snuck in quickly, tipping her helmet towards her imposing, lizard-like companion.

Grunt shrugged as he turned around and stared off at the various models of hovercraft that sat on the other side of the partition overlooking the city. "I don't know, but it seems like if it could come in handy, the tank taught it to me. Of course, the imprint failed…I don't really feel anything towards females over males."

Tali looked over at the tank-born Krogan for a moment before she realized that Sheppard had disappeared. "Wha? Where did Shepard go?"

"Oh? He went back to that green Asari… said something about letting her know that the contract had been revised."

Sure enough, not two hundred feet away stood Shepard and the green Asari, what was her name again? Tali shook her head as she walked closer towards the pair. It really didn't matter to her since James took Garrus and Wrex out for the Zhu's Hope operation, but the closer she got, the more she could hear.

The Quarian watched as the green skinned woman let her left arm come up and caress Shepard's cheek in a way that made it look more than friendly. The words her auditory sensors picked up confirmed it. "Thank you, Shepard…if it wasn't for you…I might not have gotten this contract amended. Maybe when I'm no longer working for the colony…and when you're no longer… doing what you do… maybe we can get together sometime."

The woman's tone was sickeningly sweet, almost seductive, and that sent every jealous bone in Tali's body reeling. Who did this woman think she was?! She had no right to be offering herself to the Commander in such a casual manner, and that Asari had absolutely no ideas of the hardships the crew of the Normandy faced! That woman had no right to even consider such a thing! The Quarian clenched her jaw tightly as she walked towards the pair a little faster; a woman on a mission. However, the Asari split before Tali could give her a piece of her mind.

The young woman walked right up beside Shepard and they both watched the woman walk off. Tali crossed her arms underneath her breasts and let out an audible 'hmpf'; her weight shifting to lean more on her right leg.

"Hussy."


	2. Hussy: Part Deux

**Micro Effect #1: Hussy: Part Duex**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1,113 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: This is a sequel… I found another scene on Mass Effect 2 that made the Tali jealous…it's on Illium again. Go figure. :P Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Irritated Mouse, since he/she was the first person to place this story on their FF Alert list! Thanks Mouse!**

"Ah! I love nailing Asari…so ageless and superior, but when you catch 'em, they squeal like school girls." Gianna smiled as she poured Commander James Shepard a beer. The blonde haired Specter took the proffered drink and downed half of it in one shot, a small wince as he swallowed the alcohol. Ugh, beer tasted awful to the man, he would have preferred a nice glass of Asari wine.

"You could have at least poured me a glass of a decent lager, this low-calorie, low-hyphemeral stuff is crap." He smiled at the woman and downed the rest of it, turning the glass over on its top before placing it back on the napkin.

"Well for someone who doesn't like that beer, you sure did down it quickly."

"I did it so I wouldn't have to bear sipping the stuff."

"Touche'." She smirked, giving a sour face as she tipped back her head to let some of the sub-par alcohol slide down her throat. "I tell you, what it lacks in taste it lacks in calories and hyphems."

"When you work out as much as I do, calories aren't a problem, and the hypems? Not much of a threat since I've been vaccinated for much bigger bugs." James chuckled and took off his helmet for a moment, enjoying the fresh air as it washed over his scalp.

"Well not everyone has the Alliance to pour out big creds on some fancy medical care. Some of us have to make a living… and maintain our figure." She added after glancing down at the small bulge her stomach made in her clothing.

"Speaking of living, why do you do this anyways?"

It was Gianna's turn to smile as she downed the rest of her beer and leaned back in her chair. "I initially wanted to be C-sec, or something like that…but I've got bills to pay…bills that require a corporate salary. Besides, it's not that bad…at least this time I didn't have to wear heels and a dress."

"Sounds like you enjoy your job." Shepard said as he slowly stood up, offering her a hand up, which she promptly took.

"It has its ups and it's down…besides, I get to travel all over the galaxy and meet new and interesting people." She adjusted her skirt and gave Shepard a warm smile. "So I guess you have to go now? Wish you could have stayed longer than one lousy beer."

"Yeah, its time to go. My mission isn't going to accomplish itself."

"Oh, are you always this serious, Shepard?" The dark haired woman shook her head with a silent chuckle. "Whatever…so…" She looked at him for a second, her mouth and body working in totally opposite directions as Gianna tried to get herself back in working order.

"So how is this going to work?" She paused again before letting out a sigh, "Oh hell, might as well."

Before anyone had a chance to react, both Tali and Grunt were greeted with the sight of the Noverian Corporate Agent leaning forward and giving the Commander a kiss. From their angle it was completely impossible to tell if she had kissed him on the lips or not, but the action itself was all that was needed to send the Quarian in a tizzy. That was the second woman that day to make an advance on Shepard! Once again, before the young woman could react, Gianna quickly walked away with one final statement. "Well, that's a hell of a lot better than any souvenir I would have picked up here. See ya around, Shepard."

A couple of moments passed and Tali spoke and made an obscene Quarian gesture with her fist at the woman; a statement plainly made when the agent's back was turned. _"Keelah' seli, kumbi hatier monduer __**ill**__ al hash'tu butah souvene sela, hussy."_

Grunt looked at her with a bewildered expression whereas Shepard shrugged and walked on, leaving the other two behind. When the Commander had walked out of earshot, the Krogan spoke. "Hpmh. I never would have thought you to be the possessive type, Tali. Does Shepard know you're interested?"

"First of all, you understood me?"

"Yes. In the tank I was taught plenty of languages, including ancient Krogan, Turian, Salarian, Batarian, even Quarian."

Tali's demeanor didn't really change from the angry, possessive woman that had shown itself just moments before. "Tell Shepard, and I will sell your testicles on the black market. All four of them. I will then use the profits to purchase Shepard a nice gift…probably something he will wear every… single… day… as a reminder to you that Tali'zorah vas Normandy is not to be crossed."

Grunt grinned as he palmed the grip of his Claymore shotgun, "I can always learn to sleep with one eye open."

"That won't help you much if I claw your eyes out in front of Keelah and Illium."

"Fair enough." The Krogan visibly relaxed and smiled, offering her a hand, which she shook. "You'd make a worthy opponent, little Quarian, but I believe it would be best to save our strength fighting the Collectors rather than each other."

"Agreed."

The pair walked towards the Normandy's docking bay, each feeling more relaxed, and Grunt grinned like a mad-man at the thought of fighting off an ambush if she were ever to make good on her promise.

Yes. The next time Shepard comes down to have a boring, non-combative conservation, Grunt will have a very interesting conversational topic.

**Authors Notes: Hyphemeral is just a made up creature that I thought of…a microscopic creature that can be found in various Asari and human alcohols, and if you drink enough, it could have adverse effects. More of the latest "health scare" trend… you know, first it was "Fat is bad for you!" and then it became, "Trans-fats are now bad for you!" and then it became "All carbohydrates are unhealthy!" Hyphemerals are no different… in a couple of years it will be discovered that its just the alcohol that causes hang-overs, not Hyphemerals. Meh, its whatever.**

**BTW, **_**"Keelah' seli, kumbi hatier monduer ill al hash'tu butah souvene sela, hussy." **_**Means "Come back here and I will give you a souvenir you can take home with you, ya hussy, Keelah willing."**

**Just done for shits and grins. :P**


	3. Shower Problems

**Micro Effect #3: Shower Problems**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 697 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Also, I would like to dedicate this chapter to Bobman1000, since he/she was the second person to place this story on their FF Alert list! Thanks Bobman1000! To all people who review and fave get honorable mention!**

Commander James Shepard hated his life at the moment. "Fuck my life."

After weeks of battling, traveling, collecting team members, and saving the galaxy (for the second time), Shepard didn't really have time to enjoy his personal shower. It was always, "come back from a mission, eat, rinse in the communal showers while he was on deck 2, and then sleep whenever he had the chance." There were a couple of times he was extremely tempted to sacrifice a half an hour of sleep for a hot shower and a clean shave, but whenever he was about to give in, he reminded himself that showers were not essential, but sleep was. Active eighteen hours of the day, most of those spent running and gunning, and sleep for six hours. Day in and day out for weeks and weeks and weeks…he hated it, but it wasn't his job to like it.

However, that was back when the Collectors were still a threat; back _before_ he blew their little home base all to hell. Just hours after getting back, all Shepard wanted was a hot meal, a _long_ hot shower, and a good twelve hours of sleep. So far he had gotten the first of those done, the Mess Sergeant really having outdone himself with Shepard's helping, and now he had naturally progressed to stage two of his relaxation plan: the shower. This is where the snag occurred. The fight to the Collector base has destroyed the water heating system on his deck. As a matter of fact, almost everything on his deck was screwed over considering the Collector ship's particle beams only hit the top of the Normandy…which happened to be the Captain's deck. The Commander punched the wall. By God, if he could bring the Collectors back he would, and he would kill them for a second time.

"EDI, I want a status update on the men's shower hall."

"Sir, there are five members currently using the shower system, and eight more have put in reserved slots. Estimated wait time is forty-three minutes and twenty eight seconds."

"What about the Women's shower hall?"

"The female shower hall is not currently in use and no slots have been reserved. However, the women's side water heater has been damaged and is not functioning to full capacity."

"Good. Lock it down and don't allow anyone else in there… it's about damn time I got a hot shower. Also, re-route all hot water from the Men's side once I'm in the clear."

EDI didn't question Shepard as he stepped into the Elevator wearing nothing but a towel and flip-flops carrying a small black basket with his toiletries. After successfully infiltrating the women's shower hall, completely ignoring the AI's automated response requesting that Shepard use the Men's side, he spent the rest of the time thoroughly scrubbing his body and reacquainting himself with the wonders of a hot shower… much to the dismay of the other male crew members, who had their steaming hot water suddenly turn ice cold. While Shepard couldn't hear their cries of dismay and surprise, he could certainly imagine them. A small smile graced the blonde man's lips.

It felt good to be bad.

**Author's Notes: This one, like **_**all**_** of these, was just for fun. After watching the cutscene *spoilers* to the point where the Normandy crash-lands on the Collector homebase, I noticed that only the very top portion, the Captain's deck, of the ship managed to get nailed by the Collector's weaponry. Then I thought of the consequences of that happening…and then I thought of the horrors of not being able to enjoy a good shower…especially after saving the galaxy. That would suck. So I wrote this. Dunno why…but I did.**


	4. Waiting in Line

**Micro Effect #4: Waiting in Line**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 620 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: This chapter is dedicated to MagicalPurple12, since he/she not only put this story on their alert list, but fave'd it as well! Go Purple! Wow! I got like… 400 hits and like 500 views within three days, and only one review and three story watches!? Lol, come on people help me out here! :P To all people who review and fave get honorable mention!**

****UPDATE** Yes, I fixed it. Miranda is now Australian, like some more anal-retentive viewers messaged me about. So now she is no longer British, she is now Australian…although there really isn't much of a difference, but its whatever. **** It's the hardcore fans giving me the info I need to make this series awesome for all, not just the standard viewers but the uber-fans who have more time to play the game than I do…Damnit…why is college so busy!? Anyways, thanks to everyone! And ENJOY! (Don't forget to review too… please. :3 )**

Miranda Lawson was not a happy woman. There she was, along with three other women, standing in front of the women's shower hall in nothing but their bath robes and towels. Someone had locked down the door to the hall and whoever it was, the Cerberus agent decided, was going to pay dearly. A small shiver shot up her spine as she realized just how cold it was on the ship when she wasn't wearing her form-fitting outfit. Damnit, she had been waiting for nearly twenty minutes, what is taking EDI so long to override the lock-down!? "EDI. What the bloody hell is taking so long to fix the door!? We have been standing here for the better part of twenty bloody minutes!"

"Miss Lawson, I am working as quickly as my current orders are dictating. Urging me to make haste will not make this process more expedient." EDI fastidiously responded, the AI loyal to the Commander's orders of 'no interruptions unless its life threatening'.

Miranda paused and chewed on her bottom lip in anger as Kelly, the Normandy's Yeoman and Shepard's secretary took a step forward. "Wait… orders? Under whose orders?"

"I am declined to give out that information, Yeoman Chambers, in time, the answer will be given and I will be then be able override the system lock-down. Until then, I will have to ask that you remain patient."

The Australian Cerberus operative had just about enough of this, and she stepped right up to EDI's terminal and activated it. "EDI. You obviously don't understand the situation. I, Yeoman Chambers, as well as Crewmembers Williams and Jamison have been standing here for twenty three minutes, in nothing but our towels and bathrobes. On display for every absent minded male to ogle as he so pleases! WHO. ORDERED. THE. LOCKDOWN."

In a grandiose swoosh, the door opened and steam billowed out of the Women's shower hall. "I did."

"Wait… Commander Shepard?" Kelly asked, a little stunned as she let two fingers come to her lips.

"Yes. The one and only. I ordered the lockdown, and I enjoyed a long, hot shower. Got any complaints? Take it up with the chain of command." He looked around for a moment, his tone turning playful as he smiled, "Oh wait, I forgot, I AM the chain of command."

The women looked stunned as the Commander walked away from them, wearing only a towel that seemed to show off more than it seemed to hide; Miranda's right eyebrow twitched a couple of times. "Carry on ladies."


	5. Spam Mail

**Micro Effect #5: You've Got Mail!**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1084 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: I would like to dedicate this chapter to Dark Omega Z, who fave'd this story and brought it up on their story alert list as well! Thanks! Also to M3GTR, Malakai013, who reviewed and fave'd this story! Thanks guys! Also, to Angurvddel, I don't know where the whole complication between British and Australian came into play, since I stated that she was British. Although, I'm double checking that to make sure I didn't slip up with my proofreading. Anyways, thanks for reading everyone!**

"Excuse me Commander; you've got unread messages at your private terminal."

Commander James Shepard sighed and shook his head as he passed Yeoman Chambers to get to the small encrypted data-screen that sat next to the galaxy map. Day in and day out, no matter what time of the "day" or "night" the first human Specter decided to come onto the bridge, Kelly Chambers was completely consistant with what seemed to be a pre-programmed response. It almost reminded James of the historical textbook days back when the extra-net conglomerate GOL was just AOL. Way back when, via world-wide poll, the electronic phrase "You've got mail!" was voted 'Most Hated Phrase of the 20th Century'.

He frowned and opened up his messages and began to scroll down the list:

**Shepard, this is Anderson:**

** "Hello Shepard, I just received word from…the Illusive Man that you have defeated the Collectors, and he has forwarded video feeds from your helmet camera for me to present to the Council. I think that they will be really surprised-"**

** /*Message Deleted*/.**

**Please! Help!:**

** "Hello! My name is Janice Helmsworth, my brother was on the Colony 'Freedom's Progress', and someone gave me this address in the hopes that you might have found my brother and his family. Any help or information-"**

** /*Message Deleted*/.**

Shepard sighed and ran a hand through his hair after he deleted that message. He truly felt sorry for these people, but the Collectors had long since dissolved those colonists to make a humanoid Reaper, and he did his best to avenge them by destroying the monster. Although, it made him wonder how the hell she got his address… he shrugged and continued to scroll through them, which he noted that there were a whole lot more than he usually got.

**Congratulations! *Commander Shepard*! You Just Won Ten Million Credits!:**

** Commander Shepard, you were randomly selected by the Publisher's Clearing Prefab Sweepstakes! Please-"**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

What the hell? Shepard recoiled away from the computer screen for a moment and rubbed his chin. Spam? How the hell did he get spam?

**URGENT!:**

James was quick to open up this message and he looked at it very intensely, anything that had the word 'urgent' in the title had to be important.

**My name is Baila T'Vase, and I am an Asari Consigliore for the Eclipse Sisterhood. Just recently one of our more influential members died tragically, and in her will was the sum of thirty-five million credits. She left you, *Commander Shepard* as the singular inheritor of her entire fortune. However, in order to know that this is the real you, and to expedite your collection of this large sum of credits, please send us your full name, date of birth, your Alliance Birth Number, and all links to your credit accounts. Your compliance with these requests will ensure that you will be thirty-five million credits richer. This is not a scam-"**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

How the hell? Shepard shook his head and frowned. He was going to have EDI track whoever sent this message, and he was going to kill them. Tragically. Did they take him for a fool? Then again, how many poor saps has this message ruined? Yes, Shepard decided, he was going to fix this problem the only way he knew how: lots of guns and plenty of heat-sinks. He only had a couple more messages left, and after deleting a few more wretched cases of spam-mail, he came down to the final one…and it made him crick his head to the side in confusion.

**HkPORN AnalF GANGBANG Sexs Moviest Trying BOOBS Needed:**

** A silent whisper could not dispel the cows milking in the moonlight. XENO! One bang, two bang, gang bang, bing bang, more BANGS than your hard drive has room for! Male on Female! Asari on Human! Krogan on Human! Salarian hot sticky cum on human woman's bewbs! Krogan female sucks off human male!-"**

** /*Message Sent to Hell*/**

John bit the inside of his cheek. Whoever gave out this mail address was going to pay dearly. Suffer horribly. Rue the day they were ever born. If this was the Illusive Man's idea of getting back at him for destroying the Collector base, he was going to do more than just go against orders the next time around. However, he needed evidence…proof. He needed someone who had access to information, and lots of it.

"Joker, plot a course to Illium. I need to speak with an old Asari friend."

****

"Aye-aye, Commander." Joker replied with a smile, quickly taking the SSV2 Normandy towards the nearest Mass Relay, and as soon as Shepard left the Command Deck, the pilot began to laugh.

"Oh man! I'm so glad you were able to access the Commander's terminal camera. Did you see the look on his face when he read that last email, EDI? Priceless!"

"While it was amusing, I don't believe that the Commander will take this as a run-of-the-mill prank, Joker. The fact that he requested transport to Illium, which houses Liara T'Soni, who now works as a information broker that is quickly rivaling the Shadow Broker on size and scale should be disconcerting to you. He could very well find out that it was you who gave out his address." The A.I. responded.

"Yeah, I have no doubt that he will find out, but I'd like to see how long it will take. Besides, you won't sell me out."

"…right?"

Suddenly Joker realized how uncomfortably silent the cockpit was without a response from his newly christened bosom buddy.

**Authors Notes: I talked to a couple of friends, and thankfully, I'm not the only one who is getting emails like that last one Shepard looked at… those email piss me off…and they don't even make sense!**


	6. Threats on the Loudspeaker

**Micro Effect #6: Threats on the Loudspeaker**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1418 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: BTW, to all of the people wondering what the word 'Consigliore' from the last chapter means, you can look it up, or I can tell you. It means "right hand man", especially in the mafia sense, and if you think about it, most of the 'organizations' from ME2 were more like mobs than security firms.**

**Special Thanks to Dark Omega Z for being the first to review chapter 5! Go man! And thanks to Stickki for being the second to review! Yes, I will write more Grunt in time man, I just got to have a proper venue for him. Also, there is an Easter Egg in here with some of Shepard's dialogue, if you can tell me what movie its from, and honorable mention and a short of your choice!!! I will mark that area with a BOLDED '*'. Good luck!**

**Oh, and to Rod Sterling, who told me that Miranda is Australian, not British: She could'a fooled me, mate… and I've been to all of those countries. I never saw anywhere that would point to her being an Aussie though, so I went with what I thought would be the most correct. *shrugs* But its whatevs, right? Also, thanks for the review man!**

_"Hello everyone, this is Commander Shepard, and I would like to everyone on the ship to listen up, and listen up well, because I only will say this once."_

All over the ship, crewmembers stopped what they were doing as they listened to their valiant Commander over the Normandy's speaker system. The Mess Sergeant stopped stirring his stew, Garrus finally took the time to stop calibrating the weapons systems (as if they needed to be calibrated like…fifty times a fucking day), and even Jack took time out of her routine brooding session to listen. It was quite amazing to actually the Normandy pause in motion; even Joker had take the time to put the ship on auto-pilot.

_"It has been brought to my attention that someone, i.e. a crewmember, has given out my personal email address and posted it in strategic places on the extra-net. Now this in itself is a little disconcerting, but it is forgivable; people make mistakes, and more than once I have made a mistake by hitting the 'select all' option while I was adding contacts to a certain message. However, I know that is isn't a mistake. This is now a breach of trust."_

The entire ship had gone from 'Yay! A pep talk from the Commander!' to 'Oh fuck! Who screwed up with the Commander!?' by the end of that first statement. _"I gave all of you my address in hopes that if you had any problems that you would come to me with any concerns you might have. I also gave you the information that my door was always open, and you could come speak to me in person if you'd wish. I did that because I trusted that all of you would adhere to not just my rules but the rules of Cerberus as well, and it is very clear that someone has not."_

_ "As of this moment, I continue to receive tons of spam-mail from thousands to sources, and it's gotten to the point where I can't identify BULL SHIT from actual IMPORTANT MESSAGES! I missed a meeting with the Council because I couldn't sift through all of the FUCKING SPAM to find that message requesting an audience! Does anyone know that negatively reflects on me?"_

_ "Very badly. I've given the Council the time-honored 'bird' on a couple of occasions, but only when I thought they deserved it. This time, they didn't deserve it. They aren't too happy, and when I get to the Citadel, I'm going to have to listen for hours about how a Specter should act. Who ever did this just royally fucked over hours of my life, and in return, I'm going to screw them over as well."_

_ "However, if whoever did this comes clean about it, and explains the situation to me, I will let them off with a light punishment depending upon the circumstances. Although, it should be know that right now, I'm heading off to Illium to get into contact with a data collector so fierce she has even the Shadow Broker on the run, and I can bet you she will find out who did this in no time. __**'*'**__ If I find out who it was before there is a confession, then I will reign down an un-godly fire upon their ass. I'm talking, scorched earth, mother fuckers! That person will have to go to the Council and petition for a...binding resolution to keep me away! I will fuck that person up!" __**'*'**_

___"Until then, I will be suspending shore leave and all privileges of crewmembers until I get who I'm looking for. This was your Commander speaking; I hope you all have a __**great**__ day."_

***

The entire ship was silent, and immediately people started to look at one another in worry. No one had ever seen the Commander get so angry. The crew members started to list off the possibilities. "I think the Commander has snapped under the pressure," The Scottish engineer commented to his female compadre.

"Either that or some of that Spam must really be causing the Commander some problems. You think that some of those messages could probably contain spy-ware or viruses." She replied.

"I think that's bull, EDI wouldn't allow Shepard to get viruses-"

"Actually, that's incorrect. The Illusive Man made sure that Shepard's personal terminal was completely separate from EDI's realm of influence. It has its own subspace connection and everything…no wonder he's going mad. If EDI were connected, he probably could just ask her to sift legitimate mail from illegitimate." Tali murmured, "Poor Commander…"

"Poor Lass is more like it, you've got it pretty bad for the Commander, don'tcha girl?"

"Breath a word to him and I will make you suffer in ways that make even Jack cringe. Understand?"

The man chuckled nervously; never before had he seen the sweet Quarian get so defensive or vicious so quickly.

***

Out near the bridge, Joker could hear the entire commotion. Wilkins and Rathford, the assistant Navigators and back-up pilots were grumbling; Rathford was really pissed. "Damnit, I have an appointment with Shi'ira, the Asari Consort, in four days! I've been waiting for like…five months for a chance to be with her!"

"Damnit, Rathford, you still going on about that Asari prostitute?"

"Hey man, just because you're xenophobic doesn't mean that all people who join Cerberus are. Besides, you'd have to meet her in order to get what I'm talking about, you just wouldn't understand."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever man." Wilkins replied, pulling up astro-charts on his console, "I may not have a 'special meeting' with some Asari, but I've got a dinner date planned out with my wife and kid in a couple of days, and I really want to see them again. I swear, if whoever did this fucks this up, I'm going to kill them… horribly."

EDI gazed at Joker as he held his head in his hands. "Oh…I'm so fucked."

"Why are you fucked, Joker?" A voice asked, and when the man's chair managed to turn around, he saw the Commander standing above him.

Joker, being the quick thinking man that he was, quickly came up with a white lie. "I forgot to file those TPS reports off to the Cerberus techs. Now they're going to talk my ear off about how important the monthly maintenance schedules are, and I will never hear the end of it."

Shepard shrugged as EDI spoke, "Commander, we are now entering IlIum Space."

The blonde man's lips twisted somewhat as his mind worked, and Joker tensed up as the Commander spoke up. "Say, EDI, you wouldn't happen to know anything about what I just spoke to the crew about, would you?"

There was a long pause, and all was silent in the cockpit. It took a lot longer for the A.I. to respond than usual, so there was obviously a whole lot of thinking going on, and for a super computer, that was a LOT of thinking.

When she finally spoke, it was the final straw.

"Joker did it."


	7. Bad Day

**Micro Effect #7: Bad Day**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1,615 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Special thanks to Dark Omega Z for reviewing and to Chaseboy04 for adding this story to his alert list! Thanks guys! I will strive to get in a little more every once in a while, and I have to admit, writing short stories are doing wonders for my attention span! I might actually manage to get some real wordage in! Also, thanks to Juunibi no Ookami, Ambrel, Sayle, and Ingledsy for faving and alerting this story!**

Crewman Hawthorn and Crewman Covington. Those were the two names on Shepard's list. Every damn day, day in and day out, those two people sat in the mess hall chairs and did abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Wait, Shepard decided, they sat around bitched about the Mess Sergeant's cooking, and after Shepard got those gourmet cooking ingredients, all they did was sit around and talk about how much the Sergeant's cooking didn't taste like ass anymore. Every time he saw them they always had something snippy to say to the underappreciated food tech. James Shepard was just not down with that.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Shepard quickly rounded the corner and bumped into Tali, sending the Quarian tumbling to the ground. She let out a soft groan as she rubbed the small of her back. The Command frowned and quickly apologized, "Sorry about that, Tali. I didn't mean to knock you over. I've just got two skulls to bust, and they have me so angry I can't see straight."

The woman visibly brightened as she grabbed his hand and let him pull her up to her feet, to a bystander, it could have been very easy to tell that the Quarian held onto the man's hand a lot longer than necessary. "Shepard! You didn't come down to visit me at all yesterday! I mean, the two techs down there with me, McConnell and…whatshername, are great for technical conversations, but they never talk about anything else."

Tali paused for a moment before letting go of his hand, embarrassed and yet enthralled by the contact. A shiver coursed through the Quarian, and even though Shepard plainly saw it, he didn't bother to analyze it or make any connections; his thoughts preoccupied with two do-nothings. "I'm sorry Shepard; I should have watched where I was going. If you will excuse me, I need to get back to Engineering."

The Commander nodded and continued on past Tali, taking the left corridor, although he paused when he heard a loud thump on the deck. Fearing that the woman may have fallen again, James took a couple steps back and peeked around the corner, the man catching glimpse of what looked to be the last couple of steps in a giddy, girlish dance. Shepard just shrugged his shoulders as he continued into the deck; he had more important things to do. As he rounded the corner, he could clearly hear Crewman Hawthorne speaking. "Aw come on Sergeant! Just one more helping of your chocolate pudding! For once it doesn't taste like talcum powder mixed with dirt!"

The Mess Sergeant just sighed, "Nope, you've already had your share. The rest is for the Commander and the members of his away team. Besides, the only other serving I'd let you have would be the Krogan's, and that would leave your sorry ass spewing in the toilet for days!"

The first human Specter walked around the front of the six seat mess table and paused, Crewman Covington being the first to realize the new arrival. She looked up and smiled, giving the man a half-hearted salute before slurping down the rest of her pudding. "Oh! Hello there Commander!"

James' eye ticked. "Stand up, Crewman Hawthorne and Crewman Covington. Stand up, both of you, right this instant!"

The results were immediate, the two named crewmembers shot out of their seats and stood up at attention, something that the Commander found admirable considering this wasn't a military outfit; at least they had some form of military bearing. The Specter first turned towards Hawthorne, the male crewman, "Hawthorne!"

"Yes, Commander!"

"What is your duty!?"

"To protect humanity and advance its current standing in the galaxy, sir!"

"Wrong answer. I will ask you again, Crewman Hawthorne, what is your duty!?"

"To protect humanity and advance its current standing in the galaxy, sir- ooahf!" Shepard nailed the man right in his gut, the Mess Sergeant arched an eyebrow, but muttered something along the lines of 'glad you didn't take that second serving of pudding, now aren't cha?'.

"Sir!-" Crewmember Covington tried to interject, but Shepard was extremely quick in shutting her down.

"You don't speak unless spoken too, Crewmember! My father always told me to never punch a woman, and to this day, I am proud to say that I haven't. Instead I've bashed their skulls in with the butt of my rifle and spattered their innards on the perma-crete with my shotgun. Please, don't make me hurt you." The woman snapped right back to attention and stared straight ahead, her trembling easily visible.

"Now," The blonde man continued as he crouched down next to the sputtering Hawthorne, "What is your duty?"

"My…duty, sir?"

"Your job. What do you do on this ship? What does the Illusive Man pay you to do."

"You want the truth, sir?"

"Yes."

"We're extras. The Illusive Man asked for the best two do-nothing Humanity had to offer, and myself and Covington were picked for the job."

"Honest to God?"

"Completely. We sure as hell weren't chosen for our technical skills. Sally here has been fired from every job she's ever held." Hawthorne managed to pick himself up and jerked a thumb to the woman next to him.

The woman scowled, "You prick! At least I didn't blow up a fifteen million credit set of mining equipment!"

"Its like I told you Commander… the two of us are only here to provide background noise…otherwise the third deck sounds like a graveyard. You know… Garrus isn't much of a conversationalist, and Miranda is way out of my league."

"And Doctor Chakwas just spends her time sighing and staring at your picture. Honestly, I think she's a cougar out to get you Commander. She certainly spends plenty of time talking about you…when she bothers to talk at all."

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone on the deck, including Garrus, poked their heads out of their respective offices and stared at the Commander. "EDI, get the elevator down here and prepare a secure connection to the Illusive Man, he and I need to chat… and these two are coming along."

***

"Shepard, I assume you have a good reason for contacting me?"

_ "Yes, as a matter of fact, two good reasons."_ From the Illusive Man's perspective, two Crewmembers were pushed into the hologram emitter. The cigarette aficionado smiled. He knew these two slackers very well.

"Commander, why are these two here? Why waste my time?"

_ "They told me that you put them here on the Normandy to make it look…more vibrant. They told me that you asked for the best slackers Humanity had to offer…that you needed 'extras'. What the hell are they talking about?"_

The Illusive man took a drag from his cigarette and blew the smoke out of his nose, "Actually Commander, I put those two there for my own personal amusement."

Shepard was quick to push the other two out of the emitter,_ "Amusement?"_

"Yes, since you destroyed the Collector Home base against my wishes…I needed a way to get back at you… silently." The Illusive Man sat forward in his chair as he downed a glass of Serrice Ice Brandy, "You see, I spent a fortune to bring you back, and a fortune to equip you. Even though you did something I didn't like, it would be too much of a waste to get back at you the old fashioned way…so I hired those two to annoy the hell out of you…to grate on your sanity little by little with their inactivity. And it looks like it worked out perfectly."

_ "So you're using these two to get back at me for preserving Humanity's soul?"_

"In a manner of speaking, yes. Hawthorne, Covington."

Two 'yes, sirs' responded from beyond the emitter's broadcasting range, "You two have done quite enough of… nothing. The next planet Shepard docks on, a lump sum of fifty thousand credits will be transferred to each of your accounts. Afterwards, whatever you do is on your own time. I suggest you both get jobs that you can actually do. And **yes**, whatever the next planet Shepard docks on is the one you get off on. No exceptions…just as long as it has a major population center."

Shepard smiled,_ "Joker, set a course for Tuchanka, we've got two stow-aways we need to drop off. Besides, I think its about time I paid Wrex a visit."_

The Illusive Man chuckled and grinned as he cut the connection. Yes, annoying Shepard was fun, but seeing how he resolves things is even more fun. One thing is for sure, those two Crewmembers were about to have a very bad day.

**Damn that was satisfying. Those two crewmembers always seem to sit around and do nothing! So I had to write this out! And thanks to Maben00 who put this on his story alert while I was in the middle of writing this chapter! Come on guys/girls, review! Help a brother out! Lol. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it.**


	8. The Tough Decisions

**Micro Effect #8: The Tough Choices**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1,118 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Alright. I will point out that none of these stories are cannon, and they will only be related to each other if I point it out. For example, even though I really didn't point it out…, Mirco Effects 1, 2, and 6 are related to each other, just as 3 and 4 are related to each other, and 5 and 6 are related to each other. 7 is not related to anything. But for the most part, I think you should be able to piece together which stories are related to one another, and if something is going to be cannon, I will come out and specify that it is cannon.**

**Anyways, Special thanks to The Mad Dragon and RacingM3GTR for reviewing, and thanks to the Mad Dragon for putting this story on his alert list! Thanks a lot guys! I love writing, but the motivation is the readers! The FIRST PERSON to REVIEW this chapter here, chapter 8, will get to tell me what the next short is going to be about! Now it has to be an active member of , so if you can sign in when you review, please do, because I will need the Reply URL to work out the details. Now onwards to the short!**

"Shepard, but of us are strong, I will require your assistance in subduing her."

"Take me with you, Shepard! I'm just as strong as she is!"

Damn. Shepard stood in the middle of the large apartment's living room watching two Asari battle it out in front of him, and it was just as they said: they were both equally matched. While Samara had age and experience on her side, Morinth had the power of those she had killed keeping her strong, and the fact that she has been always one step ahead of the Asari Justicar for four hundred years suggests that she was just as intelligent and resourceful as her mother. With the large biotic field keeping both of their attentions, the pair really made it look effortless; like they could hold it forever. James needed to sit down and think about this… it really was a big decision.

"Shepard! What in the world are you doing!?" Morinth let out an exasperated groan.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm _thinking_. Damn, the two of you are posing such a problem for me. Who do I chose to help? The Asari Justicar, a remorseless killer, whose entire life goal was to kill her own daughter? Or the Ardat Yak'shi, a remorseless killer, whose entire life goal was to _not_ get killed by her mother? Damnit, you two are making this really difficult."

The two women paused, looked at each other, and then looked back Shepard. "I mean, if both of you are similar in strength…it would normally come down to looks, but you two look exactly alike! I mean, of course Morinth looks a little more youthful considering she isn't in her matron stage, but really… now it comes down to who would be more interesting to talk with."

"You know that would be me, Shepard. My mother, even with my father, was _never_ a conversationalist. I'm pretty sure the only time she ever talked to you was to come and take me out. Am I right?" The Ardat Yak'shi spoke, gritting her teeth, her focus waiving just as much as Samara's was; the strain of holding such a powerful biotic battle quickly getting to both combatants.

"Shepard, being in complete solitude for years has virtually destroyed my social skills, but that does not mean that I can't bring them back up to speed."

Shepard stood up and sighed, looking at both women intensely as he debated. Then finally he came to his conclusion. He walked towards Samara and grabbed her arm, "I'm sorry, Samara, but I cannot have a person on my ship whose self-proclaim 'entire purpose' in life was to destroy her own children. I can sympathize for you, but I believe I can help her get over her condition and lead a normal life once my mission is complete. I can help her, if you will let me."

Samara's eye narrowed, "Even if I leave this moment, I will continue to hunt her, Shepard. I have already told you, she had two choices, comfortable seclusion or death. She chose the latter."

"Then I am sorry. I need someone able to think outside the box, and be willing to break rules, even if its their own. In light of this… she will be more useful to me." Shepard raised her arm, which broke the contact on the biotic beam.

"You will regret this decision for the rest of your life, Shepard. I am sorry to see it end this way."

A powerful bolt of blue energy nailed the Justicar squarely in the chest, and it sent her careening into a wall. Morinth quickly closed the gap and used a bioticly charged fist to sever the older woman's spine; Samara only had enough time to shuffle away, uselessly waiting for her own biotics to cool down before she was killed. James winced at the damage.

"Come on, let me change into this awful uniform of her, and then we can leave. I'm a dead-ringer for my mother, no one will even be able to tell the difference." The Asari quickly began to strip down in front of the Commander, and he smiled a little bit, admiring the lovely views.

"I hope you know that you can have sex with people normally… no need to meld nervous systems and fry their brains, right? I don't need you killing me."

"I know, it just doesn't provide the amount of pleasure bonding does- wait, what? Are you saying that you want to sleep with me?"

"You're naked right now, and the sight is very tempting… especially considering I've been dead for two years. So naturally I want to make sure that all of my plumbing still works correctly."

"We can worry about that later, Commander, although you sure do know how to get a girl hot. We need to get out of here before one of Aria's cronies shows up to survey the damage." She quickly slid into Samara's body suit and zipped it up. At first Shepard thought of her getting dressed was a loss, but when she did a little twirl for him, he couldn't help but grin; God he loved those skin-tight body suits!


	9. A Hot Shower: V15 Revised and Edited

**Micro Effect #9: A hot shower.**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1372 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Alright. Last time I tried to come out and like how the stories are connected to one another…listen, I think the stories themselves could be connected easily enough on their own. Lol. If you have a question, feel free to ask it to me in a review. :D**

** Anyways, Special Note to RaceingM3GTR! You won a chapter of your own because you were the first to review chapter 8! Congratulations! I remember seeing something in your review asking for a chapter with Tali and Legion…and I am trying really hard on that… I just can't think of anything funny to write... that wouldn't drop the IQ of the readers… or mine for that matter. I've got a couple of ideas floating around in my head, but for some reason those just don't seem to work. I will be working on that…in the mean time, why don't you send me something else to write about in your next review. :D**

** Also, I'd like to apologize for the craptacular last chapter. Chapter 8? Not the best one…I could have planned that one out a little bit better… so sorry about that one…I will admit that I rushed it.**

Garrus Vakarian had never really understood why humans, among other species, enjoyed taking a shower. At least, not until now. Not hours after defeating the Collectors and helping Commander Shepard destroy the human Reaper, one of the crewmembers had finally talked him into taking a shower. _'Come on, Garrus! You need to relax man! Wait, I know what will do the trick. Listen, the techies just got finished fixing the hot water heater in the Men's Shower hall, why don't you go enjoy a hot soak? Trust me, those Fenix Cannons you installed can be calibrated later. Go on man, I'll watch your station while you're away.'_

Gunnery Chief Chipson. Garrus snorted at the man's attitude; those cannons weren't like the Alliance GUARDIAN laser suite, they required constant and minute calibrations to keep their effectiveness at one-hundred percent. He doubted the man, even with his experience, had the technical know-how to keep those cannons from overheating much less keep them functioning at full capacity. In retrospect, however, the Gunny Chief was right, the hot water beating down on his carapace turned out to be oddly…soothing… especially the way the steamy liquid slid down the gaps of his natural armor; the heat dissipating any unnatural tension.

Turians had multiple hard plates of calcium and keratin that his body naturally produced to serve as armor, and just like any armor, it had its gaps; both known and unknown. While taking the soak Garrus was surprised to know end when the water flowed through sections of his armor where thought he was completely protected; no doubt holes punched through when that rocket nearly killed him back on Omega. Garrus tossed his head to the side and popped a couple of vertebrate as he placed his head under the water and let it slide over every inch of his skull; he was more than surprised when he felt the irritation and discomfort that he normally felt with the prosthetics on his face melt away. This was certainly turning out to be a most enjoyable experience.

In almost any Turian doctrine, the concept of a 'hot shower' was more a concept in 'a waste of resources'. Water was a valuable resource on the numerous warships that the race had built, heating it to clean the body was absurd when it could be drank or used for a variety of other purposes. Building and storing a water heater also wasted space that could be put in place to store more food rations or weapons; it just was not a necessity on a warship. Turians naturally did not sweat, but they did release water and moisture to cool their bodies, and this could cause some, especially those with tighter carapace plates, to smell particularly unpleasant. To combat this problem, Turian military and police officials made body powder standard issue to all of its members. Not only was the moisture absorbing powder efficient and cheap, it could be applied to all carapace gaps within a matter of seconds and it also soothed any discomfort normally felt when the plates would sometimes grind together. It also didn't require a whole lot of space to store, which gave it more advantages with no discernable disadvantages.

"Powder…" Garrus scoffed to himself; no powder he ever tried even came close to being this relaxing. The hot water slid between his plates and relaxed his surprisingly smooth skin and muscles; the gaps in his carapace widening to nearly twice their normal size. Had Garrus been in a combat mindset, this would have bothered him greatly considering the relaxation made it that much easier for someone to slip a blade past his defenses and into his flesh, but somehow the water just made everything that was plaguing his mind melt away. Even the numerous human crewmembers that were also bathing didn't bother him, despite the multitudes of glances and curious gazes he seemed to warrant; none of the crew had ever seen a Turian nude before…not that many of them cared too…but curiosity had always been a human trait.

Using this time to scout the flesh under his plates for any cancerous abnormalities, Garrus also grabbed a bottle of multi-special friendly body soap, and began to clean himself. In some areas his claws came back revealing a light, clear paste, and the Turian scowled; it seems like his body hadn't absorbed the last coating of powder he applied before the battle, and now it sat in his hand in a goop-like state. Ugh. No wonder his thighs were chaffing like crazy when he was running from cover to cover during the final battle with the Collectors. Oh well, it didn't really matter as the soap cleared out the powder and the steaming hot water soothed the inflamed and tender flesh. He could definitely get used to this. His body relaxed even more, and so did his plates, revealing even more skin, which the male promptly cleaned. Garrus could only remember one time where he was this relaxed, and that was when he bedded a female Turian and fellow member of C-Sec; back when he served on the Citadel's Hostage Rescue Team.

_Deewwuhhhh._

"Uh…what was that?"

"That, Jim, sounded like the water heater breaking down."

"But it just got fixed like thirty minutes ago!"

COLD. ICE COLD. The water suddenly went from steaming hot to iceberg cold, and Garrus' once relaxed body reacted adversely to this change. His plates locked up as did his muscles, sending the Turian to the ground in a rigor-mortis like state; unable to move. He lay there for nearly three seconds under the freezing spray as fellow crewmembers scrambled for the door to escape the crazed shower hall; only a conscientious crewmember grabbed Garrus' stiff form and dragged him out into the hallway with the rest of the men.

They were all naked, and they were all freezing out in the hallway. It would be another twenty minutes until Garrus' body would relax enough for him to recover his normal range of motion, but until that time Garrus Vakarian would despise the shower hall.

It would be another three weeks before the Turian would brave a shower, but the second time around was much less eventful than the first. Little did the male crewmembers know that it was an extremely selfish Commander that messed with their hot shower.

**Author's Note: I had a couple of messages sent to me about the multi-special body soap Garrus used in the shower… it is a body soap that multiple species can use. Multi-special (as in species, not 'special'), pronounced 'mole-ty-spee-shee-al'. **

**Also, this is the updated version of this chapter, V 2.0….because I found some things I didn't like and I fixed them to make it flow better. I also don't want a superb chapter dragged down by laziness. Lol.**


	10. Curiosity Killed the Commander

**Micro Effect #10: Curiosity Killed the Commander.**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 2715 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Alright everyone! Special thanks to a lot of people here! I'm going to start categorizing the mentions here so people don't skip the Author's Note and pass up these people who give me the motivation to keep writing!**

**Story Alerts:**

**HelloPig , RandomNumber1000, Allora Gale, Zevle918, Hannible3125, Biofan, Mercsenary**

**Story Faves: **

**Zephyr of the Shadows, Kage-Hunter, Swordsman169, Serval2, Hannible3125, Dang0, Biofan, Atyan**

**REVIEWS!**

**A VERY special thanks to the following people who reviewed!**

**RacingM3GTR**

**Anonymous ()**

**Shart-Ruse ()**

**Allora Gale**

**Sayle**

**And finally to Viktor Mayrin, who pointed out that the voice-actor for Miranda is indeed Australian. I will go back in and fix that to avoid being spammed by people who expect the average gamer/writer to know little tid-bits of trivia. Thanks though, man! I will be sure to get the problem solved.**

**Thanks to everyone who has been reading this collection of stories, I will continue to write and get stuff out to you! If you have a suggestion, tell it to me in a review, and if I think I can work it out, I will try my best to get it done!**

***

**It's Not too Late to Sign Up For Classes At Citadel Community College!**

**/*Message Deleted*/**

***Commander Shepard* Meet HOT Asari Singles in Your Area Tonight!**

**/*Message Deleted*/**

**Wait! Don't Forget to Order Your BAM-WOW! **

** It works on grease, grim, grit, goop, gop, spooch, spotch! There is NOTHING in the galaxy that a great BAM-WOW and a proper application of BAM-WOW! Mess-B-Gone! can't get rid of!**

**/*Message Deleted*/**

**SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT! See Gorgeous Babes of ALL Races Getting it On With Males of ALL Races!**

** Tired of that boring old Pornography? The kind where you only see what you already know? The kind where when you've seen one, then you've seen them all? Well look no further than what is right here in this message! We have girls of all races doing everything they can to please their partner, and we definitely have the best male stars in the business to show these girls a great time! We have so many different styles and genres that we are sure to having something that you, *Commander Shepard*, will enjoy! Just click on the link below and it will hot-wire you to a secure and discreet pay-site in which you will be directed to have full access to not only this site, but free and unlimited access to our sister sites as well! CLICK HERE ---: .**

There was a pause… a long pause; a sense of hesitation? Nah… **/*Message Deleted*/**

**Urgent! Need Financial Assistance Immediately! Please Help-!**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

**Do You Want a Free Hovercraft-!**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

**Buy a Brand New Assault Rifle Today-!**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

***Commander Shepard*, Be All You Want to Be in the Alliance Systems Navy! **

** /*Message Deleted*/**

'_Those idiots, I ALREADY joined the Alliance Navy.' _This was a pain in the ass. Searching through all of this spam mail to find one communiqué from the Citadel, which he missed thanks to Joker, was a waste of his precious time. Time he could be using on more constructive things, like eating, taking a shower, or hell, even sleeping! Yet here he was in his personal quarters wasting valuable minutes of his life sifting through crap he didn't care about… to find one letter he *really* didn't care about in the first place. This SUCKED.

**/*Message Deleted*/**

**/*Message Deleted*/**

**/*Message Deleted*/**

**/*Message Deleted*/**

**Commander Shepard. This is an Official Communiqué from the-**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

Wait…wait a second. Shepard paused for a moment and then realized that he potentially could have deleted the very thing he was searching for. DAMNIT! He beat a fist down on the table and pulled up his deleted folder and much to his dismay, found that it was completely disorganized. That was it; he was switching to a different service provider after this, the 'Citadel Standard'was *far* below his own; by God if he wanted to organize his mail he would do it! Unfortunately the account that Cerberus "upgraded" him to did not allow him to organize his mail…and it seemed like it would get disorganized at the most inopportune times. James Shepard gritted his teeth; no doubt the illusive man had something to do with this.

After searching and sifting through more junk than he cared to look through, he finally found the deleted message in his "Trash" box and sent it back into his "Unread Message" folder. Ugh. All of the shit he had to put up with on a daily basis, and the galaxy still refused to cut him any slack. He looked at the message in its entirety: **Commander Shepard. This is an Official Communiqué from the Citadel…'s BARGIN WAREHOUSE!!! BUY-BUY-BUY!!! EVERYTHING IN OUR INVENTORY IS SELLING ON THE CHEAP-CHEAP-CHEAP!!**

** /*Message Deleted*/**

This was just not his day. The Commander sighed and rested his forehead in his hands as he took a couple of deep breaths before looking over at the chrono across the room. **'23:56' ** it read is bold red letters. Damn, he should have been in bed by now…and it was too late to take a shower as well. This was just ridiculous. "I need a way to relax. A way…to let off some steam…"

A small chirp from his terminal caused him to bring his attention back to the headache causing holo-display. It was a new message… great…and he still hadn't found that mail from the Council yet…

Despite his reluctance he opened the 'unread messages' folder back up and stared at the newest item intensely. As he read…curiosity gnawed at him like a Varren would a Krogan's tough carcass.

**Lover's Quarrel: A New Breed of Skin Flick. From Aileta Escabar**

Oh…and it gnawed pretty damn hard. Shepard wasn't a stranger to pornography… hell, there wasn't a teenage boy on his home world that wasn't acquainted with it; even those who considered themselves above the shameless images of bodies moving together in a timeless dance watched it. While Shepard didn't really think of himself as pretentious, he was one of those who took a stance against the lewd material in public, but secretly downloaded whatever he could get his teenage hands on. Of course, as he got older, his tastes changed, and he quietly settled on a couple genres of pornography that he could watch without feeling dirty or unclean. However, all of that changed when he scored with Sicily Velasquez during Mindoir's Agricultural Festival when he was sixteen. Of course, that was when the Batarians attacked- Shepard shook his head and buried the thought train with a question: How could this pornographic film be any different than any other skin-flick?

**Thank you for not deleting this email Commander Shepard, because within this email contains a link to an extra-net page in which you can stream the entire film for free. Why is this being sent to you? It is because this particular film will debut at the 506****th**** Galactic Sensual/Sexual Film Festival…and it is going to take Citadel Space by storm! Only ten of these emails have been sent out to the most prolific names in galaxy, so you receiving this message was no mistake. James, may I call you that? This film is nothing like you've ever seen before… this is the first work Vestinco Enterprises has ever produced to rival the caliber of films required to snatch the coveted "Best Skin Flick" award.**

James Shepard paused and rolled back from the terminal. Was this really happening? He quickly shot forward and checked the message heading again, and it read 'Lover's Quarrel: A New Breed of Skin Flick…. **From Aileta Escabar**'

The Commander stood up in surprise, "This message is from Aileta fuckin' Escabar!?!?!?!"

The man had every right to be surprised. Aileta Escabar was the owner of one of the most well-known Adult Film companies humanity had to offer, and they had won plenty of awards, but since most of their films catered to "human only" crowds, their works were considered "too narrow" for a shot at the BSF Award. Shepard sat back down in his seat and scooted closer to the terminal inch by inch; any film that claimed to be good enough to compete with the companies that routinely won BSF awards had to be nothing short of a masterpiece…a porn flick to rule them all. Also, the fact that she was _personally_ sending this message to him spoke volumes to him; she obviously wanted the best of the best to be the first ones to view her film.

Of course, the only problem was that the Commander hadn't touched a porn flick in nearly eight years; he had a steady supply of women to keep him occupied, the man much more interested in playing with the real thing versus watching others play with the real thing. Shepard was always a kinesthetic learner more than a visual one…yup…loved learning with his hands…

**Now, James, I don't know if you are an avid watcher of Adult Films, but I believe that every young man at some point has, and more likely than not, you've probably seen one of the films that my company has produced. This film is unlike anything you have experienced. This is an actual film, James, not merely two or more assortments of males and females copulating with one another on camera…… but something with substance and soul! This will revolutionize how the Adult Film Industry will run itself! This film had a ninety million credit budget, and we spent everything in order to make this the best experience possible…with a plot and characters that nearly all species can enjoy. This film is my brain child, and I am trusting you to watch and honestly tell me what you think… and it is inspired by actual events, although they won't be named for the sake of those involved…but I think you get the picture.**

Shepard highlighted the link and spoke out loud, "EDI, see if you can't scan this link for viruses…and tell me if this goes where it says it does."

"Affirmative, although since our systems aren't connected, I cannot stop any sleeper-viruses should they occur. It is possible that damage may occur."

"That will be alright…I'm looking to upgrade my terminal anyways…and change my address if I can help it." The suspense was getting to him, and that glowing link at the bottom was staring him straight in the face. This could go either one of two ways: blow up in his face, either literally or figuratively, or he could watch what could be the greatest pornographic film to ever grace the galactic community.

**Four years of recruitment and filming all boils down to this, James Shepard, just click the link at the bottom, and be prepared to experience porn the way is should always have been meant to be filmed.**

Shepard's finger itched, and as soon as EDI cleared it, he hit the link and proceeded to connect to a secure extra-net page…was this triple encryption? Oh snap… 'trip-encryp' usually meant that whatever was on the other side of this extra-net page was invaluable. That could only mean one thing: that this email was legitimate.

After a couple minutes of buffering, Commander James Shepard began viewing the video that would redefine and revolutionize what the Galaxy knew as the Adult Film Industry.

_Lover's Quarrel:_

_A rag-tag crew of heroes, including the main protagonist, Commander Shames Jepard of the SSV Yormandn, engages numerous Geth over a now hostile Tuchanka; the Krogan's not pleased with destruction of a cure for the Genophage. The Yormandn was destroyed, and numerous escape pods are launched towards the planet's surface…many of the crew is killed, but some land in areas devoid of the enraged Krogan, while others aren't as fortunate._

_ The Commander's life pod, along with two other members of his trusted crew, crash lands in the middle of an isolated encampment of Krogan females. The females, carefully isolated from the rest of the galaxy by their male counter-parts, know nothing of the cure for the Genophage, and therefore feel no hatred towards the various aliens that have fallen from the sky. Being injured, the Commander is nursed back to health by a good natured female with the help of Dr. Tiara L'Soni, the Yormandn's Prothean Archeological Expert, and Varrus Gakarian, the ship's Turian Weapon's Officer. _

_ Weeks after the crash landing, the Commander and his two companions are exposed to a softer, gentler side of Krogan society, but when the angry Krogan search parties arrive at the isolation camp to look for survivors, it's the female Krogans that help them escape to a space worthy craft. Three females wish to join the Commander, and during the escape they sneak aboard the shuttle and make themselves part of Shames' crew. With no point in turning back, the Commander allows it, and over the months the crews spends together after the escape, they start to fall in love with one another, and slowly but surely develop relationships that forge unbreakable bonds._

It truly was unlike anything Shepard had ever seen. It didn't feel like a pornographic film at all. It felt like an action movie, a drama, and a romance all rolled into one sexy, sensual package. The action was intense and realistic, the special effects were outstanding, the drama was edgy and believable…but the romance was the best part of the film. The interactions between the characters felt real, and the chemistry between the lead role and his Krogan counterpart was palpable. And the sex? It was a stimulating mixture of soft and hardcore…but the characters _made love_ with one another, and did not just merely screw for the sake of it. The feelings between the characters were very real, but they weren't corny or over exaggerated; the Asari member of the crew even bonded with her partner while on camera! Not even most Asari porn films did that!

While those parts of the movie were amazing, Shepard thought that the plot and characters felt eerily familiar, although he couldn't quite put his finger on it, so he dropped it and continued on his reply letter to Mrs. Escabar. The one thing that truly surprised him was the one thing that was practically the central focus of the film: the female Krogans. They blew his damn mind. They were distinctly Krogan…yet not. No obtrusive hunchbacks, no obscenely deep and gravely voices, and most surprisingly of all they didn't have ornery dispositions… at least not on film. Although the average female was certainly taller than Commander Jepard, their appearance was remarkably humanoid, and even that large skeletal plate that rested on their foreheads did little to reduce their attractiveness. They even had long, majestic tails that the male Krogans did not! Bewbs-…. Breasts, yes, they even had breasts…that looked firm, yet supple, even with the naturally rough skin that Krogans were known to possess.

The man let out a sigh as he finished up his review letter. After a moment of thought, he leaned forward and added a sound byte: _"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite Adult Film in Citadel Space."_

With that closed and sent, it smothered one of James' burning questions…however, with that one answered, it only served as fuel to create another question: Did female Krogans _really_ look like that?

Curiosity is a dangerous trait of the human condition, and it could end up killing the Commander.

All of that and he still didn't find that message from the Council…damn porn.

**Authors Note: Trying to find out the answer to that question really could kill him. ;) Would breaking into a female encampment really be something worth risking your life for? Anyways, that little italic section in the middle was a craptacular interpretation of the events of the film that Shepard watched…and I'm getting tired. I'm sorry if this wasn't good, but if you enjoyed it, then great! :) I have a number of ideas that I need to get down, so I will get to those soon enough.**


	11. Loyalty 101: The Krogan

**Micro Effect #11: Loyalty 101: The Krogan**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 2710 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Alright everyone! Special thanks to a lot of people here! I'm going to start categorizing the mentions here so people don't skip the Author's Note and pass up these people who give me the motivation to keep writing!**

**Story Alerts: MineSweep100, GaiaWolf, Sharem, LordCthulu, Captain Uccisore, Bushes283, Xysnei**

**Story Faves: MineSweep100, GiaWolf, Sharem, Xysnei**

**REVIEWS!**

**A VERY special thanks to the following people who reviewed!**

**LordChtulu! (Seriously bud, Lolz. :D )**

**Sayle! (Thanks for the repeat reviews, it's good to see regular readers. **** )**

**MineSweep100 (Glad to see that I have a new follower…excellent…world domination will soon be next- oops…)**

**Sharem ("What? Am I funny to you? Do I write funny? Tell me, what kind of funny am I? Do I look funny? Am I "hah-hah" funny? Or am I "Clown" funny? What? Am I a clown to you? You think I'm a clown? "~The Good Fellas ….that was a reference to it. Lol. It was a sick movie, and I hated watching every minute of it, but that scene was the only thing I could like about it. Anyways… I am VERY glad that you think this is one of the funniest stories you've read on this site! Although I could probably find funnier…maybe I'm just too critical on myself. :P )**

**Alora Gale (I know, eerily familiar, right? Lol! Great to see repeat reviewers! :D )**

**Xysnei (Glad to see new reviewers!)**

**Thanks to everyone who has been reading this collection of stories, I will continue to write and get stuff out to you! If you have a suggestion, tell it to me in a review, and if I think I can work it out, I will try my best to get it done!**

**Also, sorry, but that last chapter did not turn out how I wanted it to turn out. It was crap, and I apologize to the people who had to read that last chapter in order to get to this chapter. So I made this one fun and cooler!**

***

"O'ley Shit!"

It seemed like Tuchanka's scarred surface vibrated in anger as the three members of the SSV2 Normandy's stumbled around in the Keystone's damaged but functional 'arena'. The ground trembled and shook for a couple more moments as the surface team stumbled around in awe as a giant worm-like creature, easily ten stories tall, shot out of the earth and gave an ear-piercing shriek. That sense of amazement was quickly replaced with an acute mixture of anger, terror, and something else none could properly describe without being there. Grunt was just excited as hell. "YES!! Bring on pain! I will crush you into the earth like the worm you are! This is why I am here, Shepard, a powerful enemy!"

The Krogan's comments brought him out of some horribly realistic flashbacks; since Akuze, every Thresher Maw the Commander encountered put him in a place he really didn't want to be. With the giant worm of certain death looming just fifty or so meters away from him, it put him in a bad place. A bad place that made him completely different than who he normally was; the memories of the other thirty-nine Marines he was with flooded into his vision. "Shepard! Shepard!! The Standard Operating Procedure for fighting a Thresher Maw on foot requires that we get the fuck out of here! You know, pickup sticks and run the fuck away?! The only goddamn problem is that we don't have any fuck'n where to run! Commander, are you even listening to me?!"

Zaeed ran from out of his cover and grabbed Shepard's shoulder plate; the mercenary gave the Commander a good shake. "We need to get out of here! I was paid to fight the Collectors, not get eaten by some goddamn worm!"

_….peh-toowey._ "Oh fuck me-!"

It was terrifying yet sobering to see the hired-gun get pasted to a concrete column by one of the Thresher's acidic loogies; the acid completely ignored the man's kinetic barriers. The force of the glob mixed with the softness of the concrete knocked the elderly man unconscious, but luckily his armor and face-plate held the acid off. With a quick sprinkling of water from one of Shepard's wrist hydration nozzles, the caustic material was neutralized in area where it looked like the armor wouldn't hold. Well, Zaeed was now out of the fight, and Shepard really didn't feel like wasting a medi-gel on him to bring him back to the world of the waking; he didn't need the man to tell him how dangerous the situation was because he _knew_ how dangerous the situation was. For all intents and purposes though, Grunt looked like he was having the time of his life, uselessly shooting at the Maw with a shotgun that couldn't even touch it with a barrel choke if it tried.

Although, Shepard had to give the Krogan credit, because every time the phlegm of death would even come close, Grunt managed to perform some type of acrobatic dodge roll that looked like it used to reside in some old video game. "Hah! You can try to kill me, beast of the land, but you will never succeed!!!"

_Deehow._ Shepard sighed, again with the shotgun. If the creature had a health bar floating above its head it would still be untouched, unfortunately, this wasn't a video game, it was real life, and there was no way in telling how much damaged the Thresher Maw had taken up to this point. Oh well, if Grunt was going to shoot like a maniac might as well at least let him hit something. "Grunt! Switch up!"

With only two weapons, the Krogan gave out a disapproving growl as he slid the shotgun against his back and withdrew his Vindicator battle rifle and began to spit out accurate three round bursts. Through his Widow Anti-Material Rifle's scope, Shepard could see that Grunt's shots were actually chipping away at the monster worm's armor. Good, at least the Krogan was contributing to his own rite of passage this time; those Varren on Grunt's side kept getting through and generally tried to bum-rush the Commander's sector of fire. Luckily he didn't assign Zaeed a sector to watch for the purpose of picking up slack should either the Commander or Grunt need assistance. The Soldier was a constant surge of Adrenaline that let him kill Varren with amazing precision, while Grunt was more than happy running over whatever creature got in his way. More than one of the 'galaxy's vermin' snuck past the Krogan.

_Huuuuuaaaaccchchhhhkkkk…..petoowey. _Shepard winced as the glob clipped Grunt on the side of his head, the force of the acidic glob lifting the heavy Krogan off of his feet and spinning him like an extra in a martial arts film. The force of the acid didn't look like it could have knocked the large reptile out, but the giant rock the tank-born's cranium collided with definitely looked like it could. It was almost hilarious, and in a deep, dark corner of the Commander's mind there was a tiny portion of himself laughing its ass off; however, there was another portion that broke loose and worked its way to the surface. Akuze flooded his vision, the images of his fellow marines, people he spent years training with and bonding with, were being split apart, consumed, or dissolved as a Thresher Maw not unlike this one rampaged.

The screams and anguished cries rung in his ears, and he grew angry. The Commander's eyebrows furrowed as he glanced at the unconscious forms of his team members, Grunt and Zaeed looked to still be alive, but if this Thresher Maw had its way, none of them will live through the four minutes still left on the timer. The Soldier stood up from his cover and back-pedaled away as acid began to dissolve the small pre-fab crate he was using. James Shepard steeled himself as he primed the charging handle on his Widow and activated the Tungsten Penetrator application. This wasn't going to become another Akuze, and he would be damned if he lost the men under his command. Grunt and Zaeed were going to come out of this alive, and the Krogan was going to be able to hold his head high among his peers. In order for that to happen, this giant worm was going to have to die.

There was only one unarmored portion of a Thresher Maw, or at least an area that wasn't as armored. That was the maw of the Maw. The inside of the worm's mouth was the one weak point.

Commander James Shepard charged forward at storm speed, the thirty-nine kilogram anti-material rifle doing little to slow him down in his anger fueled state. He was determined, and he was going to succeed. The Thresher was going to fall with one shot, and when Shepard reached the concrete barricades that separated the higher and lower ground, he leapt up into the air and used the barrier to catapult himself even higher into the air. Time dilated to seventy percent of normal as the adrenaline surged through the Soldier's veins. This was it. James had one shot, because at nearly eleven feet up in the air, if he missed, there wouldn't be enough time to recover from the fall and make it to cover before the Maw would retaliate.

Do or die.

The glowing red crosshairs slowly slid to the roof of the Thresher's mouth as it roared in what seemed like slow motion. A squeeze of the trigger sent off a chain reaction that would have cleanly dislocated the man's shoulder if it weren't for the recoil absorbing Recoil-Tek shoulder plates. A hunk of steel similar in size to a grain of sand fired from a weapon at a tenth of the speed of light had the ability to maim and kill. A hunk of tungsten equal in weight of three grams fired from a long barreled rifle at a tenth of the speed of light had the ability to punch through even the strongest kinetic barriers and four inches of the best ablative armor money could buy. The Thresher Maw had neither, but what it did have was a number of redundant nervous systems and a natural armor that was nearly two feet thick in some places.

The roof of its lightly armored mouth was not one of those places, and Shepard could watch as the soft flesh exploded as the slug pierced through and caused massive damage. Much to his surprise the beast's large left eye exploded outward, which hinted that the round ricocheted around the monster's relatively small brain case and exited out the eye-socket. He did it! A one shot kill on a Thresher Maw! He hoped to God that they were somehow recording this because this would have to go into some kind of Marksman's Hall of Fame or something. Killing a monster worm with a precision sniper rifle while falling from eleven feet up in the air?

Speaking of falling… slow motion had its advantages and disadvantages. Falling slow motion was definitely one of the disadvantages. Shepard saw the ground, and from his vantage point it looked very hard…and kind of rocky where his trajectory was taking him. He knew it was going to suck, but there was nothing he could do about it. It didn't hurt his body too bad, luckily his face was there to break his fall, and thanks to the rocks he didn't skid too far.

After recovering, the man had the pleasure of watching the Thresher collapse into the arena not thirty feet from him. The large worm's body hitting the ground caused his legs to tremble as the vibrations coursed through his body. Acid leaked out of the Maw's mouth and onto the ground, the dirt bubbling and hissing in protest as the caustic fluids slowly melted the minerals. Shepard ejected the spent heat sink and slid a fresh one its place as he walked over to place the barrel against the worm's only remaining eye and pulled the trigger. With such close proximity, the slug caused the fleshy orb to explode, and the round cleanly punched through the back of its head. He pulled up his visor and spat on it before giving it the bird.

When he turned around Grunt had already regained consciousness and pulled himself off of the ground. "Shepard! I saw your shot! Truly you are a worthy Battlemaster!"

Shepard just nodded and gave the Krogan a pat on the shoulder. "Did you ever doubt me? C'mon, let's go grab Zaeed and get the fuck out of here. I'd like to speak to Wrex and give him a piece of my mind for throwing a damned Thresher Maw at me."

As they brought the mercenary back to consciousness, a dilapidated Kodiak landed not far from the arena, and the trio was quick to get as close as possible; two of the three members hoping that it would be the extraction craft. However, all parties were disappointed to see the purple armored Krogan, what was his name again? Uven? It didn't really matter, because as soon as the pussy Krogan started yammering about having Grunt join a clan where he couldn't hold any power, or even breed, Shepard was quick to vaporize his skull with his Widow. He couldn't ask Grunt to suffer through a life-time cock-block, and besides, that dude was just plain pissing him off. He quickly ejected the spent heat sink and pointed it at the closest crony. "Anyone else here want to die? I just killed a Thresher Maw and decapitated your Clan Leader. Does anyone else here have any visions of grandeur?"

The five other Krogan slowly put their hands up and backed away. "No? Good. Get back on your craft and spread the word: this is what happens when you try to undercut clan Urdnot."

The drop ship was quick to take off, and Grunt let out an inhuman roar of delight as he embraced Shepard. "Thank you, I could not have asked for a more supportive Krant!"

By the time they got back to clan Urdnot's base, word had spread extremely quickly, and Shepard couldn't tell if Wrex was impressed or jealous, but however, on a technicality, the credit for the kill went to Grunt. Being a Krant meant you fought for the honor of your fellow Krogan, and any honor and prestige you gained was automatically transferred to the retainers of those Krant; Grunt's name soon quickly spread all across clan Urdnot's channels and within the blink of an eye had become center-piece of conversation. After hours of joyous celebration, hearty Thresher steaks, and heated discussions, EDI contacted the Commander through the 'dining hall's' speaker system. Every being in the room quieted down as the AI spoke; its voice echoing throughout the chamber.

"Attention away team."

Shepard held his hands up in the air to quiet the few murmurs that circulated as he picked his helmet off the table and keyed his helmet com. "Yeah, EDI, we're listening."

"The slaying of the Thresher Maw has generated a sizeable number of breeding requests for Grunt."

A chorus of roars reverberated around the chamber as fellow Krogan pounded on Grunt's shoulder plates; they were happy for their newly christened brother. However, they were quick to quiet down as EDI continued to speak. "And there has been one breeding request from the female camp for Commander Shepard."

The room fell deathly silent, but nothing could stop a large grin from creeping up the Soldier's face.

"Bitch'n."

**Authors Note: This one was probably one of my favorites to write!! I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing. I am kind of surprised that this chapter was such a balanced mix of comedy and seriousness. I really liked it, and this one is SO much better than my last one, at least in my opinion! If you read this please review!!!**


	12. The Golden Rule Request No 1

**Micro Effect #12: The Golden Rule**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 5,198 Words (Wow! That's big!)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Authors Note: Thanks to everyone here in the list!**

**Story Alerts: Candle in the Night, Should'aBeenBornAShinobi, PenguinsScareMe**

**Story Faves: Angelos D. Wolf, Lord Cthulu, SonofBaahl**

**REVIEWS!**

**A VERY special thanks to the following people who reviewed!**

**Lord Cthulu**

**Allora Gale**

**Angelos D. Wolf**

**A Reader ():**** Regarding Miranda being Australian in chapter 4, yeah, I don't think I will fix that man. (Or woman.) She sounds British or Australian, and who knows, her father, a very wealthy business man could have been living on Earth in Great Britain or Australia, hence the Brit/Aussie accent. I mean, they didn't get really specific for a reason, leaving 90% of her back story practically open to interpretation. Not to jump on you specifically, but as the author I can make up crap as I go…it makes writing more worthwhile. :D**

**Xysnei**

**RandomNUmber1000**

**Candle in the Night:**** Thanks a lot man! I can't believe you missed this story either! Lol, I've been updating as much as possible to keep this series at the forefront of lists since people only see the stories that have been updated most recently. Yeah man, I plan on writing more Tali, but I have to think of something first though…although I think I might have an idea…but usually things just come to me, and I write them down…and for some reason Tali, even though I love her to death, just doesn't want to have things written about her in the current moment. **** Don't worry though, I'm working on it. :D Also, three reviews in one day!? Thanks man!**

**Angurvddel:**** Thanks a lot for the review! And yes…I think the amazing experience that could be held would probably kill him. Lol.**

**ReDMaNiFeST: ****Well hell yeah! Another Bitch'n review! I will definitely keep them coming!**

**Authors Note: I think that "Bitch'n" will end up being "the word" for this series. Lol. So far I've been message a bunch of times saying how awesome that was. XD And I've even gotten a couple of reviews with "Bitch'n" being in there. :D Thanks a whole lot you guys, and I think that you will enjoy this chapter as well, even though it won't be as long. **

**This is a special thanks to KTHM and Mortified Mind for adding me to their Author Alert lists. These two authors are behind the phenomena known as Halo: Rapture, a superb Halo/Bioshock crossover a breed all its own. If you would check them out and read their story, because if you're a fan of either series, I think you could appreciate the hard work they've put into the series. Thanks MM and KTHM! You can find the story in my fave list I think, and if it's not, I will quickly rectify that problem!**

"Is this really necessary Shepard? Roughing up two survivors of a Blue Suns band after you just massacred the rest of their team?" Garrus had a hint of amusement in his voice, it would be best for the Turian to play 'good cop' while Grunt…

"Shepard. These two are just fodder… I learned a couple of close quarters combat techniques from the Salarian that can snap a couple vertebrate; causes an intense amount of lingering pain… I'm sure it can get them to talk."

Yup. Grunt definitely excelled at being 'bad cop'. The only real problem with it was that Grunt didn't quite understand the game he and Garrus were playing with the two survivors. After a couple seconds of considering it, maybe it was better this way; two semi-genuine questioners and one being who genuinely would rather be an executioner versus a questioner. The Batarian's head recoiled in an awkward direction as the Commander applied a gnarly upper cut to the underside of the male's chin; teeth clicking together could be audibly heard as the man hit the wall. The other survivor, a human male, was standing facing the nearest wall with his hands interlaced behind his head; Garrus' pistol firmly nestled against the base of his neck.

"Listen. All I want," Shepard began as he placed the heel of his boot against the four-eyed alien's sternum and ground it from side to side, "Is the location to Santiago's newest little hide-out. Tell me, and I will let you go, although I can't guarantee that Zaeed will be as forgiving…but at least it will give you a head-start or maybe give you enough time to disappear."

"Oh shit-….Zaeed sent you?" The human asked, a little tremble in his voice. Shepard could visibly see a slight tremor shoot up the man's spine. "Jathar, if Zaeed sent him… we're as good as dead man… just tell him. You heard it yourself, Commander Shepard said he would let us go if we told him."

"He's just going to kill us once we tell him you fool-" _Bhwack._ Even Garrus winced at the blow to the side of the Batarian's skull; the helmet did little to dampen the force of Shepard's boot. That and the fact that the Commander hadn't released his heel from the man's chest, which meant that the human had to used the alien's sternum as a platform in order to apply the force needed to make the kick potent.

"You idiot! That's _Commander fuck'n Shepard!_ He's the first human Specter! I think if there is anyone in the Galaxy whose word we could trust it would be his!"

"You say that just because you're a human! You're not the one who's getting the- ack!" Shepard removed his foot and kicked the humanoid in the ribs, "Getting the shit kicked out of him!"

"That's because I wasn't the one who spouted out all of that nonsense about not telling of the Boss' location! If I knew, I would have talked and been out of here by now, but you're the only one who knows! Just tell him and we can both walk out of here alive!"

"Mages, you ass! You know where the base is too! _How about YOU_ tell them where the boss is! Hurgk!"

"I didn't say you could speak," The Commander spoke as he leaned in the Batarian's crotch.

"OH SHIT! PLEASE! GET OFF! OH MY GODDESSES, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? PLEASE!!"

After a couple seconds of screaming Shepard slowly eased off and crossed his arms while Grunt happily pointed the barrel of his Eviscerater shotgun in the alien's face. "Tell me what I want to know, and we will leave you guys alone. It is as simple as that, although, if you keep planning on making things harder for yourself and your friend here, I have no problem performing some interrogations. After all…it was in my Specter training…tell me… have you ever seen anyone get their fingernails pulled out before?"

The Commander grinned as he reached into one of his heat sink pouches and retrieved what looked to be a rudimentary set of dura-pliers. The Batarian shuddered and nodded, but he quickly regained his composure; the fool trying to appeal to the Commander's better nature. "Hey… please, you don't have to do this. I used to study human culture… don't… doesn't your kind believe in… what was it…the Gold Rule?"

The Commander frowned at this, and then began to act all dramatic and surprised as he dropped the pliers and stumbled around the destroyed office aimlessly. "Of COURSE! How could I ever forget the _Golden Rule_!? My mother always taught it to me so much, made sure to drill it into my skull every time I strayed from the true path."

He stumbled back to the Batarian and dropped to his knees and cradled the alien's head in his lap, which inadvertently placed the barrel of Grunt's weapon firmly against Jathar's cheek. "I'm so sorry. I can't believe I completely forgot the Golden Rule. I will correct this mistake."

With that Shepard pulled out his pistol and shot the human in the back of his kneecap. Even Garrus was surprised when the human collapsed onto the ground and began to roll around, howling in agony as the Inferno round seared his flesh. Jathar looked back at Shepard in alarm, "Why did you do that!?"

"The Golden Rule my mother taught me was to 'spread the love around'…and it seems I was doing her wrong by focusing on you. I'm sorry." The Commander's tone was amazing sappy…coddling and extremely condescending.

"I thought the Gold Rule was 'do unto others as you would have done unto you'!?"

James looked up into the air for a moment while he made exaggerated facial expressions showing intense thought; he was quick to snap out of it as he looked down. "Nope. Now, if you'd like, I can have my Krogan companion here 'do unto you as I did unto him'."

Shepard jerked a thumb over towards the now crying human, "Grunt here is like a surgeon with a rusty scalpel when he holds that shotgun; precise in his dismemberment, but it's never a clean cut. Now, _tell_ me what I want to know, or you can bet your sorry hide that you're going to be attached to a colonoscopy bag for the rest of your life…that's _if_ I let you live."

Jathar gave his human compadre one last look before he looked up at the Commander with a sheepish smile on face.

***

Grunt laughed heartily as the ground team left the office complex owned by the Blue Suns, and Garrus just sighed, "I think Grunt took it a little too far, Commander."

"How was I to know that he would lift his hips in order to try and avoid my shotgun!? It was hilarious! Instead of losing a kneecap he loses his junk instead! Ah, a fitting punishment for scum like him if I do say so myself, Battlemaster. None of these enemies provided a decent challenge…so getting to do that made my day."

Shepard just shrugged as he sat down in the taxi that proceeded to take him and crew back towards the spaceport and to the Normandy. "He was a slaver. That tattoo on his neck, it marked him as a veteran of the Mindoir campaign. Believe me, I know their kind."

Garrus just looked at the Commander and placed a hand on his shoulder plate, "I don't think I could ever understand what you went through, but I can empathize, Commander."

James smiled slightly as he patted Garrus' chest plate, "Thanks, Garrus."

The gesture did little ease the tightening in his chest as thoughts of Mindoir flooded back, but it did show that someone cared. He closed his eyes and leaned back as let the cab's auto pilot take over. He needed to rest.

***OMAKE***

**Authors Note: This…I have no damn idea where this next part came from, but I am doing this as a request from a reader. She…is a slash fan. And she requested this. I will not release her name for her safety…or that of her email account, but I said I was taking requests, and I haven't turned one down yet… (this is the first request, though…lol). Anyways, this contains some semi-bad stuff and SLASH. Nothing heavy, but you can definitely feel the 'wrong' factor while reading this. I don't normally write homosexuality of any kind…but it's a request, and it is funny at least. I just hope I don't lose readers here…. DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Garrus glanced to his left as the shower hall door opened. He was a little surprised at two things, the first one being that this was the skeleton shift, and everyone who wasn't working was asleep, so he usually had the hall to himself, the second was that he rarely saw Shepard not use his own shower. Commander Shepard walked into the hall in a towel and his bag of toiletries. "Shepard?"

"Hey Garrus. My shower system is on the fritz again."

The Turian nodded as he went back to his own shower, turning up the heat and allowing the steaming water to relax his plates. When he reached for his body scrub, he realized that it was practically empty. "Damn, I could have sworn I bought more-"

The male was cut off when he felt a bottle tap his shoulder, and he grabbed it. "Thanks, Shepard… wait…this looks like a female's body wash."

"Yeah, it's Miranda's. I stole it from her quarters when I was in there last. It may be chick stuff, but its amazing shit, and it really eases the stress and pain on my scars. I think it might work wonders for the plate inflammation you were complaining about during the mission."

"Besides…it smells pretty good. And who says that a man can't smell of lilacs."

Garrus snorted and shook his head as he popped cap and poured a small amount into his hands; quite surprised at how it spread easily and uniformly all along the gaps in his carapace. The moisturizers in the body wash immediately soothed his inflamed skin, and it made his flesh feel silky smooth to boot! The Turian chuckled as he washed, but when he tried to maneuver his arms to get at the harder to reach spots, he realized that he forgot his Skrub-Tek Gap Scrubber. This would have made him angry, disorganization and forgetfulness was not something he was prone to on a normal basis, but the hot water helped him relax. Well, he would have relaxed had he not felt two hands start to scrub the portions of his carapace he couldn't reach. "Gah, Shepard!"

"What? Do we have a problem, Garrus?"

After a few moments, the Turian forced himself take a deep breath; this wasn't something he thought that Shepard was capable of. "Why are you doing this?"

"Just helping out a friend and fellow crewmember…what Garrus, not secure enough in your sexuality to let another man wash your back?" Oh, a jab at his manhood. No manly-man worth his salt would ever dare to say yes, and it would be dishonorable for a Turian to do anything that could compromise his position.

"Of course I'm comfortable, Shepard…it's just that is a little unexpected. I haven't had my back cleaned since I was a trainee in the Turian military. It's also a little strange that you would be the one to wash my back." It was true, trainees in the Turian military, no matter what the branch, all went through the same high-standards basic combat course. Upon basic, your bunk-mate, no matter how much you hated him/her, became your battle buddy throughout the eighteen week course. If you were both slated for the same branch of the same service, then the brass would continue your "buddy-ship" through your Advanced Branch Training as well.

Throughout the course you were to bond with your 'battle buddy' and become brothers; you would eat the same food, drink the same water, sleep in the same mud hole, and when you were granted a shower, would wash each other. However, in some rare cases, some of these bonds caused the more impressionable Turians to stray into the less accepted, but still tolerated, facets of "bonding". Homosexuality wasn't widely accepted, but it was more or less tolerated; Turians realizing that while being attracted to the same sex didn't limit your effectiveness in serving society, if you wanted children, you would have to have them on your own. A more common occurrence within the Turian ranks was a younger male or female dabbling in the same sex while in basic but eventually settling into a heterosexual relationship when the urge to contribute to the next generation became too great.

Garrus, while in training, was assigned a slightly younger battle buddy named Keria Darmand. Keria was a normal teen who wanted to get out and see the stars, visit different worlds, and serve the collective; the same dreams many Turians held in their hearts. Throughout the entire course, the pair carried each other through thick and thin, fought beside each other, bled with each other, and when one fell, the other picked him up. They were nearly inseparable by the time basic ended, and when their ABT began, they could finish each other's sentences. To Garrus and his buddy it didn't seem strange, but to even other Turians around them…they were giving off certain vibes. Garrus had always considered himself a heterosexual, and thought nothing of other males. He was never uncomfortable with being naked, or even being cleaned by members of the same sex; it was purely business. He thought nothing of his relationship with Keria. However, Keria didn't feel the same way.

It was brought up by the younger Turian after they graduated ABT, and it was…awkward for Garrus to say the least. He knew of his society's stance on relationship between two males and two females, and it didn't bother him in the least bit about being discriminated against or prosecuted; it was the fact that he had always considered himself a heterosexual, and yet there he sat actually thinking about spending some time with someone he considered a brother. It didn't advance very far until Garrus just couldn't do it, and he got up and left; requesting a transfer under the label of "Threat to Unit Cohesion". So far, he hasn't heard from Keria in a long time, and last he heard his former battle buddy had risen up to the rank of Lieutenant Commander; opting to take the next step in his military career and become an officer.

Fingers working at the base of his neck broke him out of his reverie as a gentle sigh escaped his mouth; the digits doing an amazing job at loosening the tense muscles that kept his head on straight. "Shepard, what are you-"

"Garrus," The Commander spoke in a tone that seemed to contain… something that he couldn't quite describe, "Just relax. I wanted to thank you for earlier. Thinking about Mindoir was slowly pulling me into a place that I didn't want to go back to… but you pulled me back. I don't really know how to articulate how much that meant to me."

The fingers slipped away from the neck and slid up to slide between the Turian's head plates; the combination between the gentle pressure and the moisturizing elements of the body soap led to the contact being…more soothing than it should have been. "Not a lot of people have really cared about Mindoir, and not many people know about my past… but I don't flaunt it; pity isn't something I take kindly too. I survived slavers, Akuze, Saren, and now the Collectors; I'm a man on fire. Not flaming, of course."

Garrus nodded and tried not to get uncomfortable with the contact. The Turian knew that Shepard liked to get up close and personal with his subordinates, but he never thought that he would see the day that the Specter would be washing his back plates…and giving him a massage on top of it; it must be a very cold day in hell. He took a deep breath and let it out, but whether he was trying to keep himself from reverting back into a 'battle buddy' state of mind or force himself not to start wigging out at the fact that Commander Shepard, his boss and one true friend, a _human_ male, was practically pouring…whatever it was… out in front of Garrus. It wasn't like Shepard, it wasn't the man he knew and admired; but then again, he never thought anything of Keria, and look how that turned out.

It was a little uncomfortable when Shepard's hands started to dip lower towards the small of his back, but something inside the back of Garrus' mind, an entity that could just as easily lead to death as much as it could discovery, started speaking to him. Curiosity was a dangerous thing, and it had a bad habit of showing up at the most inopportune of moments. That moment just happened to be now. What would it be like? Ever since he walked out on Keria, he had always been curious as to what to would have been like to be with another male, and if curiosity overruled the ever cautious Turian disposition, the male could very well find out. It was something that both excited and scared the fuck out of him at the same time. Women. He loved women, he loved the way they played in the bedroom, they way the felt against his body, and how tight they felt when they wrapped their legs around his waist. Once more, unfortunately, curiosity deposited a question that burned in his mind: how would it feel to wrap his legs around someone else?

"Garrus. I just wanted to say thanks, not many do anything for me out of the goodness of their hearts. I really appreciate your help, and you really are probably the best conversationalist on this damn ship."

The situation was slowly getting out of hand as the human's hands slowly dipped lower and lower until they stopped abruptly at his waist; the Turian relieved yet disappointed with the lack of movement on the part of the Commander. Soon Shepard's close and near intimate presence from behind the Turian faded away as Garrus could hear the man return to his own stream of water. The male tightened his grip on the bottle until it cracked in his palm, but he quickly relaxed and let the water melt away his thoughts. 'This never, ever happened.'

"You have a good night Garrus, see you on the next shift."

That was it? The Commander was gone, and it left Garrus alone in the shower hall holding a bag full of emotions and questions he didn't want to deal with. However, he couldn't help but feel oddly at ease… about what though he couldn't grasp, but at least some part of him felt better.

***

**Alternate Ending:**

The situation was slowly getting out of hand as the human's hands slowly dipped lower and lower until they stopped abruptly at his waist; the Turian relieved yet disappointed with the lack of movement on the part of the Commander. Soon Shepard's close and near intimate presence from behind the Turian faded away as Garrus could hear the man return to his own stream of water. The male tightened his grip on the bottle until it cracked in his palm, but he quickly relaxed and let the water melt away his thoughts. 'This never, ever happened.'

"You have a good night Garrus, see you on the next shift."

That was it? The Commander was gone, and it left Garrus alone in the shower hall holding a bag full of emotions and questions he didn't want to deal with. However, he couldn't help but feel oddly at ease… about what though he couldn't grasp, but at least some part of him felt better.

The shower hall opened back up and the Commander stuck his head in, "Also, I just wanted to clarify two things: Number one, no-homo, and Number two, this never happened. I need the rest of crew thinking that I'm a badass killer with the mission on my mind, my people on my priority list, and who doesn't have any real discernable emotions."

Garrus snorted.

"Also, saying something about it means you'll implicate yourself in some kind of weird sexual way, so basically if I go down, I'm taking your ass with me, and I will see you in hell."

***

**Alternate Ending No. 2:**

It was a little uncomfortable when Shepard's hands started to dip lower towards the small of his back, but something inside the back of Garrus' mind, an entity that could just as easily lead to death as much as it could discovery, started speaking to him. Curiosity was a dangerous thing, and it had a bad habit of showing up at the most inopportune of moments. That moment just happened to be now. What would it be like? Ever since he walked out on Keria, he had always been curious as to what to would have been like to be with another male, and if curiosity overruled the ever cautious Turian disposition, the male could very well find out. It was something that both excited and scared the fuck out of him at the same time. Women. He loved women, he loved the way they played in the bedroom, they way the felt against his body, and how tight they felt when they wrapped their legs around his waist. Once more, unfortunately, curiosity deposited a question that burned in his mind: how would it feel to wrap his legs around someone else?

"Garrus. I just wanted to say thanks, not many do anything for me out of the goodness of their hearts. I really appreciate your help, and you really are probably the best conversationalist on this damn ship."

The situation was slowly getting out of hand as the human's hands slowly dipped lower and lower until they stopped abruptly at his waist; the Turian relieved yet disappointed with the lack of movement on the part of the Commander. Soon Shepard's close and near intimate presence from behind the Turian faded away as Garrus could hear the man return to his own stream of water. The male tightened his grip on the bottle until it cracked in his palm, but he quickly relaxed and let the water melt away his thoughts. 'This never, ever happened.'

Suddenly raucous laughter filled the air, and Garrus spun around to see Shepard practically pissing himself with laughter. He even went as far as to slap his knee. "Oh my God Garrus! I never pegged you for being a pole-smoker, man! Geeze, you were _really_ getting into man. A little massage and you start getting all homo on me!"

"Shepard you ass! I was _not_ getting all homo on you. If anything I thought you were going all homo on _me_! What kind of man just goes up to another person in the shower and starts to touch them out of the blue?"

"A person who's secure in their masculinity, like me. I've got Tali to go to every night, believe me; I wouldn't jeopardize that by molesting you in the shower. I would suggest your loosen up, but with the way you were practically spreading yourself for me I don't think you need to. I was joking around, playing grab-ass. Don't Turians go through the same process?"

"Yeah, but if you're going to hint and lead on people, that can cause some problems. I actually thought that for a moment you were coming onto me."

The Commander suddenly got really serious and he leaned forward, one arm going over the Turian's shoulder, basically putting the pair really close, and any misjudgment in distance would put the two closer than either would have liked. Or at least that how it looked from Garrus' point of view… that was _if_ Shepard was telling the truth about not wanting to jeopardize his relationship with his Quarian lover. "Are you saying that you didn't think I wasn't hitting on you? What I really was?"

Garrus arched an eyebrow. Things got really awkward as by some cruel twist of fate the Turian found himself becoming flushed and slightly aroused. Shepard looked the other man directly in the eyes for a moment before breaking off with another round of laughter. "Oh man, Garrus! You totally are getting homo on me! Just look at yourself!"

The Turian was quick to spin around and change the temperature from steaming hot to lukewarm.

Shepard clapped Garrus on the shoulder and chuckled a little bit more before cutting it off. "You're all right, Garrus. Nice to see that you aren't a flamer man… I don't tolerate those on my crew."

"Wait… you were sizing me up? It was all just a test?"

"In short, yeah. I will admit it was over the top, and it made me more uncomfortable than I would have liked, but with close friends, you can't just come up and ask if someone is… light in the loafers. I just wanted to make sure, you know?"

"You made sure that I wasn't gay by pretending to come onto me in the shower?"

"Yeah. Sorry if it was a little cruel, but it was just as painful for me as it was for you. A straight man can only act so gay for a limited period before revolting… so yeah. No hard feelings man? Nothing personal. You wouldn't believe what I had to do to make sure that Kelly wasn't coming onto Tali."

Just as quickly as the Commander had left, the shower hall opened back up Shepard stuck his head in, "Also. No homo man. No homo at all. I am not gay in any way shape or form. So for your sake and my own, let's just forget that this ever happened."

"I don't get your logic, Shepard."

"Yeah, in retrospect this is turned out to be a really gay idea. Good thing I don't plan my combat strategies like I do my social situations, huh? Want to catch some brewskis and easy hoes when we hit the shore?"

"Sure thing. Just don't do anything like this ever again."

"Noted."

**Author's Note:** **WHAT DID I SAY!? DON'T JUDGE ME!!!! That was pretty gay, I will admit, and I'm a little disturbed at how well I wrote out that last part… the one before the alternative endings… which I put in there to lower the meter of wrongness.**

**You, fangirl who requested that I write that! You better review, and it better be a good review because it nearly killed me to write that!! And if you're a fangirl who liked what I wrote, you better squeal really loudly in the form of a review. **

**As the author I would like to point out that I did not write that of my own volition, just had to because of a request. **

**Do you people see that!? Request stuff, and no matter how wrong it seems, I will probably write it for you! REQUEST TODAY! Also, please don't give me vague "write more Shepard x Tali", because that doesn't help me. I would LOVE to write more ShepxTali, but I only have some much inspiration and thinking power, and I usually write what pops into my head. Be more specific, and help me out with that, like providing a setting and maybe a conversational topic, but I can't do it all on my own. Be like the…slash fan… (who asked for a serious shower scene on board the Normandy after a mission between Garrus and M! Shepard)… and be specific!**

**Either that or give me some other ideas. Something is better than nothing. **

**ALSO! This is the longest chapter Micro Effect has had, and since it has like two stories in it, I would like to see double reviews! If you didn't like the last part, review and tell me why you didn't like it! And if you didn't like it because of the inherent weirdness, then please do it!**

**Also, the last line of dialogue between Shepard and Garrus is attributed to Lord Cthulu since he was the first to review and I found a couple things wrong with that area to I fixed it up. **


	13. Gimme a Reason

**Micro Effect #13: Gimmie a Reason**

**Author: Ignorant One**

**Length: 1,621 Words**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Mass Effect or Mass Effect 2, except for the plot points in my original material. I don't own anything else. **

**Thanks to everyone here in the list!**

**Story Alerts****: Nightmare Gundam of Ni, Stickki, FiragaBird, Knight For Christ, Deatharte**

**Story Faves****: Dawn Gazer, Shyne2G2, Lonniet84, FiragaBird, Modify The Lifestream, FastReader, SR3651, Knight For Christ**

**Author Alert****: Shyne2G2, Dawn Gazer, Lonniet84, Saya21**

**Fave Author****: Dawn Gazer, Firagabird, Saya21**

**REVIEWS!**

**Lord Cthulu:**** Thanks man! Two reviews for me? You're too kind. :D**

**Mercscenary: ****Thanks a lot dude! Yeah, glad you liked the second alternative to the Omake man…a couple people liked it, but its whatever, I did the request, so I upheld my end of the bargain.**

**Kudara:**** Har-har. Glad you liked it when I had to write slash. *shrugs* It wasn't all that bad, at least I didn't have to get graphic! Then things really would have gone down hill!**

**Vesvius:**** Thanks for adding me to your C2 man! And I'm glad that you appreciated the 'WARNING'. :D**

**Dawn Gazer:**** Longest review ever. Great job! :D **

**Knightmare Gundam of Ni:**** Yeah, glad you liked the whole series so far! :D**

**Candle in the Night:**** Glad you liked everything! Also, when you work as hard as you do to review, I think the people here deserve recognition. **

**Shyn2G2:**** Thanks for point out what I missed man, I will make sure to correct that in the future.**

**ReDMaNiFeST (): ****Glad you consider what I wrote disturbing. But yeah, I had to write something that had to balance everything out.**

**Stickki:**** Thanks for the review man! :D And I will put your idea in my pool…got a lot to do. **

**RaceingM3GTR:**** Thanks for the repeat review man!**

**TheSlashGurl:**** Well, its nice to see that you finally reviewed. I'm glad you liked what I wrote…. and I will think about writing more slash….I mean, its eh…weird, but its good writing practice…………. I will think….more….. **

**FiragaBird:**** Hey man! Thanks for the review! Sure, I'd be happy to read what you have to write man! **

**Knight For Christ:**** Thanks for the review man! Glad you liked them all! I give you a 10/10! : {D **

**JovianJeff****: Glad you liked the first chapter man! You should fave this story and see what else I can come up with!! ;D**

**A VERY special thanks to the above people who reviewed!**

**Authors Note: This chapter will be decidedly shorter than what your used to reading from me for one reason…its just a short chapter. Lol. Unless I decide to add another Omake, which The FanGurl has asked me to write another slash scene for Shepard and Garrus… and a lot of you have actually asked for some scenes between people, which is great, because I really want to make y'all happy. However, now I've gotten like ten requests from various people, which is great, but now I have to prioritize between all of the subject material I have myself and the requests you, the readers, have asked of me. That's quite a lot of stuff on my plate. Lol. Seriously, if you could see my notes here on my laptop, I have enough material for at least ten more chapters, and that doesn't include all of my half-baked ideas which could form into fully baked ideas with a little bit of work. :3 Also, I don't know what story Saya21 read in order to fave me, so I'm going to assume its this one. Lol. Thanks a bunch Saya21!**

** Here is a chapter that I haven't been able to write for a while… because of finals are approaching and I have four papers I've been writing… and I just got another one today. **** Yes, a frowny face. That and the fact that the rest of my free time is spent playing Modern Warfare 2. Hell yeah, bitches, ju getz 0wned!**

Tuchanka, the hot, scarred planet being the hell-hole that it is, was inhospitable by its very definition. Only the tough and hardy survived in this harsh environment. That and it seems only those who have spent their entire lives with a Varren up their ass have managed to eke out an existence. One such example was an Urdnot by the name of Veriel, a known and popular Varren trainer. The verren he was holding onto lunged and growled viciously, its teeth gleaming in the small amounts of light that snuck through the cracks in the ceiling. The Krogan chuckled heartily, "Come'on, give me a reason, Shepard."

Commander James Shepard arched an eyebrow from beneath his helmet, a little surprised at the way this particular Urdnot was acting. He and Wrex were extremely good friends, and the last time he visited Tuchanka he had killed a Thresher Maw all by himself… the Commander was curious as to what was exactly going through his head. With that, the human paused in front of the larger Krogan and stood just outside of the leashed varren's range. The creature hissed loudly and lunged again, only to reach the end of the leather-like cord wrapped around its neck. "Come on, Shepard, just take one more step and you'll know exactly how it feels to be a chew toy for my prize fighter here. Three more victories in the pits and this little guy will become even more famous than that Urz mutt who is always following you around."

The Commander smirked as he took off his helmet, placing it underneath his right arm and assumed a relaxed yet in-control posture. "Do you always treat your betters with this much disrespect?"

James could clearly see the anger flash through in the Krogan's black eyes, and his body tensed up considerably, as did the Varren. Mordin, the Salarian scientist standing off to Shepard's right, leaned forward and spoke quickly into the human's right ear. "Commander, I do not believe that antagonizing the Krogan would be wise. I believe that if your baiting continues that there could be a seventy-two percent chance that he would let the Varren go, and at this distance… 'Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a seamstress.'"

Grunt just chuckled and took a step back, crossing his arms underneath his massive breastplate. "Shepard, should you end up killing one of my Urdnot brothers, I will act in your defense, either as a Krant or a witness."

"See Mordin? Grunt has the right attitude to take. You shouldn't be worried about me… just worried about _this_ guy." Shepard taunted, his head tilting forward and to the right to gaze at the now snarling verren.

Veriel's right eye twitched and his body began to shake in a nearly uncontrolled rage, "Ooah… you asked for it, human."

_'POP'_ There was a loud screech and all parties involved stood stiff, except for the Commander, who just silently continued to stare at the verren with an intense interest.

It took only a moment before everyone figured out where the screech came from and their attention shot downwards towards the large canine like creature just in time to see its second overly large eye explode outwards with a sickening _'POP'._ The Krogan fought with all of its might to keep the verran contained as it thrashed around in… dare I write…._blinding_ amounts of pain?

Even Grunt was slightly put off by the sudden fleshy explosions, but it wasn't until the Commander held up a hand near the four legged vermin's head that a third but muffled _'pop'_ was heard. Immediately the verren settled down and sat on its hindquarters, a dopy grin quickly formed on its face as its tongue lolled out the side of its mouth. It was quite a sight to see, the verren sitting happily, blood trickling out of its nose with its eyes open craters exposed to the world. Veriel was aghast with something akin to fear as he looked at his prized pit fighter, now rendered blind and in an utterly relaxed state.

All parties looked towards the Commander as he instead focused on the hostile Krogan. "Did you see what I did to him?"

Immediately the male collapsed to the ground, withering in pain. His hands clenched his gut with increasing intensity as he let out labored cries of pain. "Oh Gods! Not those! NOT THOSE! I've only got four of them, and they _barely_ work as it is! PLEASE! You can crush a heart, just not those!"

The large reptilian humanoid ended the sentence by vomiting onto the cold, uncaring earth. "Fine."

Veriel relaxed and let out a loud sight of relief as he was freed from whatever hold the Commander had over him. "Let this be a lesson to all Krogans that live under the Urdnot banner."

The Commander continued to speak as he stooped down and placed a knee right beside the Krogan's head. "Don't. Fuck. With. Shepard. Or with any of his crew for that matter because I _will_ fuck you up. I don't think Wrex would be to happy with me if I started using my biotics to bust some quads, but God help you if I do."

Mordin was quick to close his gaping mouth, taking a step back before coughing into his hand to regain his composure. Grunt just gave the Shepard a crazy grin and offered the human a hand up, which the man promptly took. "Spread the word, Veriel, I don't want to take any more Urdnot out of the fight."

The Krogan just nodded and whimpered, the humanoid crawling towards his prize fighter- _former_ prize fighter.

Shepard just smiled and continued on his way up the ramp, it felt good to be a badass.


End file.
